When you have BPD it can be extremely difficult to manage any kind of successful relationship as my 2 past divorces have indicated.
25 years alone I have embarked on a third. My partner and I got married on 16th July 2016 so it is very early days. We have known each other for about 6 years and been a couple for 2.
I know that at times I am a complete nightmare and I foresee times of stress and turbulence. Yet my desire to make this relationship work and my commitment to my husband are deep and sincerely felt.
I am more aware of my limitations and my need to live within them and am more able to recognise approaching crises than I was in younger years. Most of the time I am less impulsive and my alcohol consumption has been zero for two and a half years now.
My husband knew nothing of mental illness when we met and it has been a steep learning curve for him and there have been times when I have felt he has been in denial and I have needed to forcibly remove them before our relationship could stand any chance of surviving long term.
The occasional incidents of self-harm seemed to threaten our stability far less than the periods of depression which he seemed to find alarming and his obvious feelings of powerlessness created the biggest problem we have faced so far. I remember him saying many times-:
“I didn’t realise it was this bad!”
At that point, I began to doubt that we could make it. I encouraged him to talk to my nurse about how he felt and to make use of the ‘Carers Association’. I also tried to explain to him how I had learnt to cope with these bouts of depression.
The episodes of rage will continue to occur but he seems more able to deal with these than with the depression and they tend to erupt and dissolve quickly.
Another important point made is that no-one is perfect including my husband who has some very irritating habits and so we BOTH have to learn to accept each others shortfalls and make the best of an imperfect situation.
borderline personality disorder 