Progress or not to progress?
That is the question!
I have been taking part in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy for almost a year now.
I have been only receiving individual therapy weekly and am due to be reviewed next month with a view to beginning group therapy.
To be honest, I am anxious as I have not done well in group therapy in the past.(Well I have not really done well in any therapy in the past!)
I do not want to be remembered as the bad one again.
When I joined a group for long term sufferers of ‘Anorexia Nervosa’, I was the only member who also 
had BPD and other members of the group were frightened by my self-harming behaviour, although, in my opinion, anorexia is just another method of self harm!
I will be older than all the other members of the group and I am concerned about any friendships that may evolve or indeed even being actively disliked by other members. I was a victim of bullying when I was an in-patient at the eating disorders unit and have been targeted by a younger BPD sufferer in the past. We get on fine now but only by appreciating that our relationship must have very firm boundaries. I have only once allowed her in to my home and that was because she appeared on my doorstep at 11pm obviously in crisis and simply begged ‘I don’t know what to do or where to go’.
With BPD I find boundaries are essential in relationships, both social and professional.
“Why Do We Need to Set Functional Boundaries?
Boundary systems are invisible and symbolic “fences” that have three purposes:
- to keep people from coming into our space and abusing us
- to keep us from going into the space of others and abusing them
- to give each of us a way to embody our sense of “who we are” ” read more
It is said that about 50% of BPD sufferers have problems with dependency and tend to feel desperate at even the slightest perceived rejection. I am not sure how far I personally meet the criteria of Dependency personality disorder as I do tend to prefer isolation and certainly suffer from severe social anxiety.
My fear of rejection and overwhelming lack of self confidence is so debilitating that it greatly inhibits my ability to interact with others and so my way of coping has been to avoid social situations at any cost.
So I am sure you understand that whether or not I decide to engage in group therapy is unnerving me somewhat!
borderline personality disorder 