Borderline personality disorder is a much debated diagnosis. There is also stigma attached to people with BPD. The media often represent people with a personality disorder as dangerous, evoking fear in the public. Society often views people with BPD as purposefully causing their own problems and causing distress to those around them.
I was diagnosed as having a personality disorder in my late teens but the term ‘Borderline’ was not used to describe me until the late 1990’s. I was termed as having an eating disorder, a depressive illness, compulsive, obsessive disorder, a mood instability disorder and a lot of other things besides.
BPD has affected every aspect of my life. I am now 55 years old. I have never held down a job, and have led a very isolated and limited life. People around me would probably describe me as strange but ultimately harmless, to others at least. I have a long history of self-harm, anorexia and alcohol abuse.
I have been in the care of mental health services all my adult life and have experienced good, bad and very ugly. What has helped me most has been structure, continuity and constant reassurance.
I must admit the current uncertainty that exists within all mental health services feels like shifting sand beneath my feet and, never have I felt so unsupported and so afraid of complete abandonment. This is like the knell of doom for the BPD sufferers but, the problem is, when voiced, these fears are often met with a ‘knowing’ smile by professionals and simply marked down as another indication that BPD is rearing its ugly head again and little notice is taken.
For some reason it is assumed that we sufferers of BPD do not really have any idea of what we ourselves need. In fact many professionals seem to go out of their way to avoid listening to sufferers and simply quote from the latest text books like they are religious mantras. VERY ANNOYING!
After all we are the experts and so far professionals have had very little success treating us.
DOCS, maybe it is time you listened to us! Or, at least let us help you write the next text book. Any takers? I’m free!
borderline personality disorder 